I never thought I would see it again.
Last night, I was sifting through my old school stuff to check whether some of my old high school handouts can still be useful to me next semester. I went through my old clearbook, old exams in Modern Physics and Advanced Chemistry and even my Calculus notebook just to see whether they can be of help to me once I enter sophomore year.
It was literally a pain to the eye, opening up four boxes of old school stuff just to sort out my stuff ( Since I was sneezing and crying due to the dust). I saw my old yearbooks, my old journals (diaries that I’ve kept for three years now) that I was able to reread and remember every happy, giddy, and painful memories of my days in MandSci.
When I opened the last box of my things, I noticed this one small box, that had a few pieces of paper inside.
It was a box full of pad paper conversations. Almost 8 pieces of lengthwise folded intermediate pad paper sheets full of conversations, between two people. I picked one up, and started to read along the conversation, and remember the details when we wrote it down. How amusing it was, that I was able to keep the notes for three years now, kept hidden in sight. As I was checking the other conversations, I saw this letter that I placed along with the other sheets of paper. I totally cried when I read it.
Hey, you. I hope you bother to read this that I wrote for you.
I really shouldn’t have pushed you to tell me. Honestly, I am still hurt about it. It was the first time that I really can’t stop crying about something as silly as that. But, you know how I really am, right?
Yes. I was that clingy, and I know I shouldn’t have been. Actually right now, I’m so confused with letting you go, and with keeping our friendship. Yes. I partly screwed up when you were ‘dating’ with Kaira. But I think you screwed up more, by trying to keep me as a friend just for Mharmila’s sake.
You were always that more of a friend, but less than a lover for me. I know, pressures around you kept our friendship in the rocks. But I wanna thank you for staying put to it, even just before we ‘let our fates decide’.
I was always moody. Everybody knows about it. Don’t you ever think that it was only you that made me feel down. Never worry, someday, I’ll find the courage to tell you that I’ve grown from being the depressed writer, and into the mature person that I always hoped to be.
Thank you for all the late nights we’ve talked, and the notes we used to pass to each other. I feel giddy while writing this. Those times I really exerted effort to wait you get back, coz you promised that you’ll PM me after 4 Hours! (LOL kidding) and times when I really wanted someone to understand me, and you were always there to be optimistic.
We may have different views on the topic of change. But I’m sure to stick to a quote that I found on the planner that Kuya Erron gave me: ‘People don’t really change. They just become clearly more themselves’ :) I wouldn’t worry about you contradicting that! I still have Reu and Cheska to back me up on it. Hahahaha.
Well, I hope you finished reading up to the bottom of this letter. Good luck on your career choice by the way!
I was going to tear it up after reading the letter, but I thought ‘Why bother?’ and kept it back. I don’t really have to tell him this again, since we have both moved on to our own lives. And I’m really happy with what’s happening with my life now. We all deserve to smile and be happy, even for once right?