Just as I Thought

I knew it was only brief, when I finally became close to him. It started with giddy messages, and the questions came rushing in, and he was answering them, and I continuously refreshed his profile page, just to find out if he answered my anonymous question. The replies came in, and he wanted to know who I was. I was flushing red and my two friends were teasing me that Saturday night. I thought this was the greatest turning point in my year.

He was ‘too far from my reach’ – twice, on two separate occassions. They were the instances when I started to expose myself to activities in our Org, little by little. And also, little by little, came in the chances that we would bump into each other. Maybe to say ‘hi’? Or maybe, to exchange glances? Back then, I was so into finding out who he was ( I have to be honest on this) And that night, I was slowly unfolding a friendship that I thought, could forge good experiences.

Before things got out of hand, I took some courage to make myself known. I was not sure if he was surprised, but then again, he found out the truth, and with a smile, we began being friends. As far as I knew, you weren’t entertaining anyone else, and that was fine with me. And so was I, since I was busy with school and I needed to focus on my new roles as a student leader. At times we would text, and you would ask me to call. Though it was a little bit random at times, I didn’t care – hearing his voice over the phone while I reviewed calmed my nerves. Being a busybee himself, I thought he might’ve felt the same way too.

And in no time, we decided to meet. It was after my exam, and I was a bit dizzy on the road. But I promised to be right on time – a quarter before the clock strikes eight. I saw you across the corridor, inside the mall – dashing as ever. He came near me and told me ‘Just in time!’, with a smile on his face. We roamed around, and joked a lot, hoping I didn’t spoil the evening for being a little bit ‘stressed’ over my day, but it felt like it went well.
He didn’t want go home yet, but mom was sick and she needed me by her side. I had to beg off, and he smiled as I rode the jeepney home. I thought, he actually had a fun night, just as I had, when I was with him.

The next few days came a little bit distant. I was not sure why. A whole day would pass, yet he wouldn’t text me, or even ask me to call. I would pass it off, thinking he was also busy with school and I should be busy with my own thing as well. But then I couldn’t keep my eyes off my phone, hoping that he might text me ‘zup?’ Atleast. And just then, he messaged me he was sorry, that he wasn’t able to text. And that he would make up for it tomorrow.
And just when I was curious about what was actually happening, I figured out maybe I can find out something through his Twitter page. And there it was, he was already with somebody else.

By default, I knew I shouldn’t be upset about it. For one, we were not in a ‘mutually understanding’ phase, and it was too early for one. But I couldn’t help but not feel bad. Was I being stupid again? I really can’t figure out. Yeah, I really liked you that much. I just wanted to know you longer. But, just as I thought, it was the end of the line, for this ephemeral fantasy of mine, once again.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Author: Josh Jimenez

A 24 year old Pharmacy student from Manila, Philippines He enjoys drinking Chamomile Tea, with Clean Bandit Tracks on deck, while reading his books, or jotting up notes for his next blog post.

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