*Note from the author: After rereading the mechanics for ‘Truth Thursday’, I finally understood how these prompts work, and that I could post my work, and not have to schedule my posts for Thursday (since technically Truth ‘Thursday’ should be done on a Thursday) and wait for a few more days if I started it, like on a Sunday. It’s technically my first Truth Thursday post, so please do bear with my work! *smiles*
For the longest time now, I have been waging a battle who bears no winner – two champions who continue to outdo one another every single time – a game wherein the fates of all who’s in it have been tied to one another; a challenge that has driven me to my wits end; a tug of war where no one want to give up.
Back then, I was very sure of what I do and I knew what I wanted to be. I was confident with how I talk and walk when I am with people. They saw the leadership that I kept close to myself, and they seldom saw that I resort to tears even in the direst situations. They feel how I try to be diplomatic and cheerful when others are down. I would extend my help to those who are in need – not paying attention to what lies in return, but is grateful when receiving from other people.
However, there is more to all of these.
Because every time I try to get up, I stumble and fall on my knees, and I have kept it to myself all this time.
I never knew that having an ‘internal’ argument with my inner self would be this difficult, especially when I have long hoped towards moving on from all the hatred, and then something pulls me back, and pours salt on my wounds.
If only I could compromise with how I actually want things to happen and learn how to forgive each and every person who has crossed me in the past, maybe I could find a way and leave all the ill feelings and thoughts behind me, and finally start over again with a smile on my face, and look forward to what the future holds for me.
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Written for Truth Thursdays. This blog exists to connect people through writing. To initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. Wanna know more about this awesome thing I just participated in, read it here :)
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