Relapse

You were smiling at me from across the corridor, just as I remember you doing it. Your bespectacled eyes seemed to reach out for me, and I realized this was all but a part of me wanting to see you in person again. And I was bound to savor each moment of it, even in my sleep.

However, thinking back, of all the times when I knew I should have let go, I just couldn’t fully get over you yet. It was neither the lust that kept me looking for you nor the hopes of us being together like every single girl back then; I wanted to be with you. Still, the mere idea that we were good friends, and that you regarded me differently than our other classmates, kept me in this illusion.

After all these years, my unconscious continues to fail me. I never really did let go of you completely. I just hope, like summer, this is bound to last indefinitely.

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