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Quietude

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In solitude I may find myself
Far away from you, I may seek to be whole
Yet your presence I long
And your love I yearn to feel
This peace giveth me a chance
To rebuild the pieces broken
From chances forsaken

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On Never Looking Back

It has been a week since you left me hanging. As I walked back home with a heavy heart, I looked out onto the EDSA skyline and wondered to myself, “How is this going to be any better?”.

I wasn’t sure how it would, but something in me tells me to never worry.

Monday came and it was never the same again. No more of your morning messages – teasing me every now and then, or reminding me to take my lunch when I intended to skip the meal to work in the lab. I was no longer looking forward to 9 o’clock, so I can hear you sweet voice and beg to hear you sing a song for me.

How I wished Sunday never came. But now, it’s a Sunday once more. A week has passed, and no word from you.

But I have decided to move on from this. And as I look out at the gloomy horizon outside the window,even if it takes me more than my remaining courage to come out into the rain, I’m pretty certain there are better days ahead of me. I shall no longer look back in pain, but hold on to a great promise of tomorrow.

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This post was made as a response to today’s one – word prompt! If you feel like challenging yourself to create great stories from these prompts, check it out here :)

Bus Rides (and First Impressions)

It was past 9 in the evening and the mall was already closing. For the weirdest reason I find myself worrying that something wouldn’t turn out right when you arrive. No, don’t worry. This is something new, I tell myself as I rub my hands together, while waiting for you outside the mall.

At last, after a few minutes of waiting, you came. I tried my best to assess this situation, and not make a fool out of myself. You confirmed, our meet up spot was closed already, and you suggested we go elsewhere, just before you ride the bus to your weekday place.

I tried to do the small talk, but there you were fixated on something you didn’t want to disclose. After that flight of stairs and another stumble, I decided to just bring you back to the bus stop, as you constantly reassure me that nothing is wrong (and as if I would take that for real).

Why does it always have to be like this, when I go to such places? Always afraid of sending off someone close to me, and feeling they may never come back?

As I slowly succumb to the cold air, and the texts which came colder than your usual warm self, I begin to question myself.

And it made me realize how much I hate buses.

Anaphylaxis

A 24 year old Asian male presents to the ER with tachypnea, shortness of breath and generalized urticaria. Patient has no known maintenance medications to relieve the symptoms he is currently experiencing prior to coming to the ER. A physical examination revealed the following: HR 110bpm, RR 40 with signs of accessory muscle use.

Brief history of the patient reveals that he has been trying to patch things up with his partner of 8 months – after a whirlwind dating phase that lasted only roughly two weeks. Patient discloses that he was not aware that things would have gone out of hand, and symptoms of said event manifested abruptly one Saturday evening, after receiving one too many messages from the other person.

Accumulation of said allergen in the system may have caused this allergic reaction to the patient, causing him to lose motivation and feel irritability at the mere thought of this person.

An aerosol treatment was ordered and given with 0.5 cc albuterol with 3.0 cc normal saline in a small volume nebulizer for 10 minutes. Peak flows done before and after the treatment were 125/250 and ausculation revealed loud expiratory wheezing and better airflow.

Symptoms began to  resolve, and the patient was advised to resolve his current ordeal with his partner, and if they would accept their excessive neediness of one another, come into terms with this so as to prevent his reexposure to this allergen, as well as to refrain from whirlwind relationships because, you know what? Things that are taken too fast just to achieve something is just.. it’s just not right. It’s crap.

Relapse

You were smiling at me from across the corridor, just as I remember you doing it. Your bespectacled eyes seemed to reach out for me, and right there and then, I realized this was all but a part of me wanting to see you in person again. And I was bound to savor each moment of it, even in my sleep.

But thinking back, of all the times when I knew I should have let go, somehow, I just couldn’t fully get over you yet. It was never the lust that kept me looking for you, nor the hopes of us being together like every single girl back then, wanted to be with you, but the mere idea that we were good friends, and that you regarded me differently than our other classmates kept me in this illusion.

But after all these years, my unconscious continues to fail me. I never really did let go of you completely. I just hope, like summer, this is bound to last indefinitely.

The Last Cycle

I’m finally a Fourth Year student.

After 7 years of wandering, procrastinating, internalizing, changing, and motivating myself towards the student who I am now, I actually came to this point when I’m actually enlisting my Senior Year subjects for BS Pharmacy. God has been great for He has blessed me with second chances, and this time I am making sure that things work out for the better.

Looking back at the years I have spent in college, dropping subjects like a hot potato, and drifting through my classes most of the time, I never would have thought that a turning point would actually come my way, that night when I sat down to reflect on my school life, and my future.

Letting God take control of my life was one of the best decisions I ever made. Just when I was on the verge of failure, calling out to Him when I needed Him the most, and just at the right timing, He made sure to give me a challenge which He knew I can overcome, I know now that there is no better place to be in but by His side.

And so the challenge begins on the 14th. Bring it on, Senior year! I shall come to conquer it for God’s glory!