Ad altiora tendo

One hundred and eight days into my Junior year’s second term, and I can slowly feel my energy failing like a melting candle in a dark room. All I feel like doing now is sleeping and lying down in bed, barely opening my Pharmacology notes in time for exams, cramming Manufacturing Pharmacy, a 180 degree turn from my vigor compared to my enthusiasm when I took its prerequisite subject last term.

The subjects are getting into my nerves, and the more that I feel like giving up, the more that I wanna hold back tears from the lack of courage, I fall further down into the pit where I once emerged from, two years ago when I started a new leaf in my new College.

But as my worries start to creep in, I am reminded of a passage:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you”. (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)

And yes, the Lord has always been with me, and at times, I may be at guilt whenever I forget His presence, He comes at our side, telling us

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ( Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

That is why, despite the downslide that I am currently facing right now, I know that it would be senseless to stay here at this pit.

So, I start climbing back.
And though it may take me longer than expected,
I know that I’ll emerge victorious by His side.

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Been Awhile

It took me a great deal of effort to wake up in this cold Thursday morning. School’s just around the corner again, and I can’t seem to shift my body clock just yet for my soon to – be 8:00 AM school routine this term. With the end of summer, and the rains starting to pour down on Manila, its definitely going to be a soaked back to school welcome for me.

Aside from the fact that I’ve taken too long to get up from my warm cozy bed, is that weeks have passed since I had my last decent, lengthy post here on my blog. Things have happened lately, and I can’t seem to get my head around it, and I guess this would be the best time for me to get on with my ramblings, before I get all drowned in my schoolwork.

1. We’ve moved out!
After almost eight years of staying at our old residence in Manila, we’ve finally come home to my mom’s ancestral house (which happens to be only a couple of blocks away from our previous house), and finally its our own home!
After constantly moving from place to place, we no longer have to worry about the house rent, and the place not being our own. We’ve stayed here for almost two months now, and although we’re no newcomers in the area, it really feels alot like home already.

2. I’m finally a Junior (again) in College!
This came from the fact that I finally got through two semesters of my sophomore year in Pharmacy. Two years delayed from graduating on time (and counting), I finally start to take the pace and get myself back on track. Because of the good grades last year, I finally managed a enlist a full 27 unit load this term (which much hesitation to enroll subjects beyond what I usually take, which is around 21-24), which includes all my major subjects for the Junior year. Although I still have a few back subjects (like Theology and stuff), I’m pretty sure I can manage finishing them off before I graduate.

second yr
3. I tried my luck at love (again), but alas.
Apparently, God has other plans for me at the moment, and what I hoped to be a great start for me and a special someone was down in the drain, even before it started. But hey, maybe when the time comes, and we are able to find our ways together, we will. Maybe.

4. I’m back to writing! (And I have a few posts to save and post. Heh)
I realized that because I have alot of things to do for school, I’ll eventually have to keep up with my long time blog journal. And in order to do so, I’ll have to post stuff for later! I’m currently saving up all the posts, and hopefully get to schedule them properly so I’ll have a continuum of posts.

5. God has always been (and forever will be) by my side
After all these things that has come my way for the past months, both good and bad, I’m pretty sure it was by grace that got me through. His unending, boundless, selfless and precious love for me (and of course, for you too!) got me back up when I felt very down, pushed me to do greater things when I feel as if I’ve done what I think is “plain okay”, and changes me from glory to glory, into His likeness.

Its been awhile since I actually got down to write about all the things that has been brewing in my head since summer started. And probably it’ll take me more time to get to rant and ramble about stuff later on. But rest assured, I’m doing fine, and I hope you, reader, are having a great time as well!

Stop Me

From holding back and calling out
From pleading I scream and shout
From taking in all of this pain
From drowning myself in the rain

From hoping that you’ll come back soon
From acting like some shit bafoon
From resting on what fate may give
so that I can go on and live

A Fortnight and a Day

A love that was all too soon
I guess, as early as it is.
Our hopes, in candlewax wings
Melted way before it could’ve soared high.

But the same heat of Summer’s day
Would’ve set a clay pot dry
Cemented what could have been
The perfect “You and I”

But alas, a fortnight and a day
The dream has fallen, and truth be taken
The dream lies splendid in good sleep
And all of these in tears I weep