r-limonene? ohh yeah. guess what i’m eating nao. :)
Fall back to bed.
Stare blank at the ceiling, and with a sigh,
I slowly close my eyes.
The darkness slowly creeps away, as the first few rays of the sun reached my room’s windowpane.
I felt a shivering feeling down my spine, and unease in my breathing, as my eyes started to swell. I kept my eyes wide open, trying to keep the tears from falling. But as the flashbacks started rolling, I closed my eyes and let them run across my cheeks, sobbing in my dark room. I see myself enact those cruel and bitter memories of Junior and Senior year.
“I just cant repay you, and those good deeds that you do to me”
“We just cant be like close friends anymore”
It was like a living hell, here on earth.
And then I opened my eyes.
and went back to bed, crying.
I used to be like a stream in the countryside, free flowing. Adventurous. Liberated. I can expund on anything that I want to talk about. I was the conversationalist. Things arond me “inspired”
me to do such, and because of that, I feel great about what I do.
Now, I am nothing but a hollow log. Empty. Senseless. I cannot even make the words in my poetry fit! I always run out of things to say. Actually, if one sees my former multiply sites, http://joshua623.multiply.com and http://ironicenthalpy.multiply.com, I said more sense. Did emotions really play a part in my writing? I am water. I bring forth change.
Change. It is an inevitable thing. Yet, I cannot adhere myself to it. For months, I have been contemplating on the fact that I just cant go on with progress in my life. People see me as some chemistry geek, reading the LeMay and Brown book, browsing some McMurry and Leithold, but deep inside, I tend to be immature, especially when it comes to emotions.
This a past post in my multiply site. I used to blog a lot of my posts there, but since I’m starting to acquaint myself here in WordPress, I hope I get to use and post my next, new poems here :)
Smiles fade and tears arise
Feelings detach and subside
The neon lights
Have gone away, leaving
Fragments of yesterday
The gust of wind and
rush of rain
Would this wash away
I sleep in solitude from
now on today
Putting all my efforts
I learned a lot, from the guy of sixteen
from the moment he entered my life’s silverscreen
His stories, nice, both from here and afar
While mine were daydreams and wishing upon a star
He taught me to calm, this playful heart of mine
With his corny jokes everything turned out fine
Whenever im down, he would share his smile
And i find my afternoons seemingly worthwhile
But then there were times, I felt he was ‘cold’
Simply telling me– emotions must not hold
Because he’s not mine, yes, not mine alone
And i say this, my friends, in an contented tone.
Time would come, that he must too, go away
Like the summer sun, it must shine another day
I do not know when, I do not know how
But i am very sure to say
That this guy of sixteen became a close one to me.. today :)