A Work in Progress: Day 150

For the longest four months into my college life, have I attempted to refrain from answering the people who have been pushing me to reveal why I shifted courses when I was almost there.

I wasn’t really sure myself if it was the shame of having to go through another two to three years of Pharmacy subjects before graduating, or was it the pressure of focusing on my current track? Probably because early on I have anticipated the numerous questions that had crept my mind since November.

On the other hand, albeit the expectations of most people, I have been doing very well in the College of Pharmacy – I have a new refuge in the seclusions of the St. Theresa’s Building; old friends are still with me, but now with the addition of great people, in all-white uniforms; a more organized schedule which lets me move freely in between subjects; a slowly rebuilding self – esteem which I thought was lost, but most especially, a provision and a renewed promise from God that this is going to be the best move forward.

Gone were the days when I had to succumb to the heavy feelings I had back at the Cardinal Santos Building (my former department was situated in the eerie corner of its Second Floor). I no longer have to brush shoulders with the professors whose preconceptions about me cannot be changed by my simple acts of progress – praises you but talks about you differently when you’re away.

I no longer have to deal with its tyrant, and her dealings. For a very long time, I have told my juniors how she deals with concern and care, however deep inside I have feelings of disappointment. But alas, they are now gone, and I wouldn’t be dealing with them for a long time.

For the longest four months in my college life, I have found peace and happiness to where I am now. Probably I wouldn’t mind too much answering questions why I left. Why I didn’t just finish Chemistry. Why I ‘wasted’ three years for nothing (this not true, FYI. Pharmacy is STILL Chemistry). I am a work in progress: His work, in progress. He still has a lot in store for me, all because I tried to do things on my own. But He steers for me now.

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Hi There, 2015.

IMG_20150101_002746¬†For the longest time, I have spent my New Year’s Eve cooped up inside my room, just like all the past years have gone. As much as I have despised the noise and the allergic rhinitis that I get from the air from 8 o’clock all the way til 1 A.M., I was more interested with doing the countdown post that I would always have – despite no one reading it.

But last night, I took the chance to do a little bit different. I went out for the first time in years, to take a look at the awesome lights and fireworks that lit up the skies. The one in the photo, was even only a few meters away from the window on our condominium floor (sixth floor) and it was an truly a sight to behold.

With so many happenings around us, and it pushes us to just keep it to ourselves, we tend to neglect how to appreciate all of those other things which can bring us joy. I remembered that very well, when I saw the horizon infront of me – it may be filled with smoke, but then again, the view was always a picture I can always recall when I closed my eyes.