It was past nine in the evening, and the mall was about to close. For the weirdest reason, I found myself worrying that something wouldn’t turn out right when you arrive. No, don’t worry. This is something new, I tell myself as I rub my hands together, while waiting for you outside the mall.
At last, after a few minutes of waiting, you came. I tried my best to assess this situation and not make a fool out of myself. You confirmed our meet up spot was closed already, and you suggested we go elsewhere just before you ride the bus to your weekday place.
I tried to do small talk, but there you were fixated on something you didn’t want to disclose. After that flight of stairs and another stumble, I decided to just bring you back to the bus stop, as you constantly reassure me that nothing is wrong. (As if I would take that for real.)
Why does it always have to be like this, when I go to such places? Always afraid of sending off someone close to me, and feeling they may never come back?
As I slowly succumb to the cold air, and the texts that came colder than your usual warm self, I begin to question myself.
It made me realize how much I hate buses.
I felt out of love for a very long time. Sure, people do come and go in my life, as I have met different kinds of people on casual dates, or an afternoon walk at the mall. But all that was there were fleeting feelings – the ‘young, wild and free’ ones, the puppy love ones, and the ones that were too racy to describe. But there was no one for me yet.
But now, its seems that there is a reason for me to smile after all. For almost a month now, Ii’ve been praying for us to work out. And, things do go well for the two of us.
Its been a long time since I’ve felt this sensation. But the lovely feeling of Valentines is not new to me anymore. I have always loved this special day. Not because I always hoped that I would get to celebrate it one day, with my better half, nor was it because I was very proud of my so-called ‘single-awareness’. It was because during the times when there was no one around to be that romantic for me. When there was no one who I can sing a love song to, or write a well-versed love poem, it was His love, that I felt. Not only on Valentines Day, but everyday of the year!
So there really isn’t any reason for us to feel bad on the Fourteenth of February. :D
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.