I never thought that I would have the courage to message you first.
After all that we’ve been through, it was a great deal of courage for me to press ‘Enter’ and greet you for the Holidays. For once, I told myself that maybe I have really moved on from the pain you caused me three years back. Maybe, this time I was finally able to forget the pain. And though it had caused me so many times, a hope to find someone to be with, the paranoia of breaking my trust has left me all alone and cold.
I have always wanted to tell you how thankful I am to have caught up with you, yet I feel bad about you losing someone close to your heart as well. I may never had the chance to meet her, but seeing that she raised a guy like you well (even if our fallout tells me to say it otherwise), she would have been so proud of you, too.
As the year comes closer to an end, I pray for the best of your endeavors, and to the ones who are close to your heart as well. We may never know, but when the time comes I can probably meet you up and finally smile like I used to, when you were still mine.
It makes all the difference, when you try to appease everyone because you ought to do things the ‘proper way’, and it doesn’t turn out the way you envision it to be.
We tend to be a little bit too diplomatic most of the time, but lose the fact that we have to set limits, expectations, and (ahem) deadlines when we have a so – called ‘collaborative effort’ for a certain project.
A ‘team effort’ doesn’t have to come on a major scale. It comes from a smaller unit that works hand in hand, true to whatever committed tasks they have put themselves into, towards something bigger which cannot be done simply by a person who is alone.
Time flew by so fast. Was it just yesterday, when I met that person whom I considered the guy I would spend my days with, “In God’s Perfect Time”? I never knew a year has already passed – 366 days filled with precious memories both of the good and the bad. The loveliest times, and moments of tremendous heartaches. But then, fate opened its paths for both of us, and in the last Quarter of 2012 we finally said goodbye.
But, despite this big obstacle that came my way, all the people who truly cared for me during my ups and downs emerged, and yes, they were the ones I learned to cherish, for they never left me during the toughest times in my life, may it be because of schoolwork, or my family, or my relationships.
Friends, I cannot thank you well enough. My words would not be able to contain my feelings of gratitude for you all :’) We walked this road altogether, and I pray, we shall continue to walk hand-in-hand into this coming new year.
Happy 2013 Everyone!
– Joshua Jimenez