For convincing myself has been harder lately,
Without you near,
Distant from me lately
I need reassurance
To get myself by.
For the shadows of the past linger on,
While you’re away
I miss your embrace
The confidence it gives
To risk another try.
One hundred and eight days into my Junior year’s second term, and I can slowly feel my energy failing like a melting candle in a dark room. All I feel like doing now is sleeping and lying down in bed, barely opening my Pharmacology notes in time for exams, cramming Manufacturing Pharmacy, a 180 degree turn from my vigor compared to my enthusiasm when I took its prerequisite subject last term.
The subjects are getting into my nerves, and the more that I feel like giving up, the more that I wanna hold back tears from the lack of courage, I fall further down into the pit where I once emerged from, two years ago when I started a new leaf in my new College.
But as my worries start to creep in, I am reminded of a passage:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you”. (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)
And yes, the Lord has always been with me, and at times, I may be at guilt whenever I forget His presence, He comes at our side, telling us
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ( Isaiah 41:10, NIV)
That is why, despite the downslide that I am currently facing right now, I know that it would be senseless to stay here at this pit.
So, I start climbing back.
And though it may take me longer than expected,
I know that I’ll emerge victorious by His side.
The evening haunts, the shadows cry
Each voice inside, won’t let you by
The tears, the pain, the weary sighs,
They fill your thoughts up ev’ry night.
The sadness just won’t go away.
If spoken of it everyday.
Cylical, looks as it may
‘The scars are fresh’ yes you may say.
But how can wounds be soothed and heal?
If still, cry so much for what you feel?
Can you not stick to what is real,
That they are not of the best deal?
The evening haunts, and so it will
Should rationality be killed?
Should you face the other cheek, and sigh
Thoughts will be filled up, by and by.
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