Always Second Best

You.

It pains me to admit, that I envy you.

Not because you have led a happy life with somebody else; nor is it because you have the smiles of a person who is truly in love with someone. But because someone who I truly care about, has never broken the chains of bondage that he still links with you. The scars you have left, can never be erased. And the love that he yearns, that, I can never encompass.

For no matter how I try to lift his head up, it will always be your mere presence that makes him smile with joy and laugh with a ring I might never have the chance to hear. That despite my frequent texts, it has always been your messages that gives him the chills, and he admits, that it hurts him inside to have you turned down every single time.

That in his sleep, he is in my prayers every night. But you – whom we all know, is happy with somebody else, still kill him inside with the memories of you, that he might never be able to withdraw fully from his heart. And with every inch of effort that I try to put in, I just can’t figure out how I can get you out of his mind, and his weary heart.

Yes, I have to admit, that I admire you for being able to make him love you the way he loves you. And, I shall always be behind your shadow, and be the second best.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Valentine’s Status: Single and Waiting

Kay bilis nga naman ng paglipas ng panahon. Parang kahapon lang, nang una akong magblog dito sa WordPress ng tungkol sa Valentine’s Day. Ngayon, unti-unti kong naaalala na nakaisang taon na pala nang huli kong ipagdiwang ang February 14.

Ngayon sakto na apat na buwan na akong “Status: Single”, hindi nakapagtatakang bumalik ang damdamin na nararamdaman ko bago ko pa nakilala ang dati kong kasintahan. Ngayon, kaisa na ako ng mga nagnanais na mag February 15 na agad. At katulad ng ilang mga kasama ko sa Kapnayan, ay nagpapakasubsob muna sa aral, o kaya’y nagpapakasaya sa kasagsagan ng aming Foundation Week sa Adamson.

Sa totoo lang, kanina lang talaga napagtanto na bukas na nga ang Araw ng mga Puso. At kahit na itanggi ko man sa karamihan, na hindi ko ito iniinda, talagang hindi ko maiwasang maisip kung maipagdidiwang ko ba ng matino ang araw na iyon.

Ngunit ang mas nakagugulo ng isip ko, ay kung bakit sino pa ang matino – kung sino pa ang nagmahal ng totoo, at niloko ng taong minahal niya, siya pa ang nag-iisa ngayong Araw ng mga Puso? At bakit kung sino pa ang nanloko, ay siya pang may kapiling na ngayong iba, at masaya?

Siguro’y sadyang ganito lang talaga ang buhay: Hindi mo lahat makukuha. Ngunit may siguradong dahilan sa lahat ng mga nararanasan natin. Sabi nga sa isang patalastas sa TV “Bilog ang mundo” – at alam kong hindi ako mananatiling malungkot ng matagal na panahon. Kaya naman, hindi ko maipagdiwang ang Valentine’s Day ng may kasamang “special someone”, sigurado akong hindi ako magmumukmok tulad ng karamihan.

Konting hintay pa. :)

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

You’ll Never Know

T’was another Friday night
You’re all gloomy, with a sigh.
My worries push to ask you why,
And then, you hugged me as you cry.

At first, he hesitates to tell,
But I knew better, he ain’t well.
A lonely boy, trapped in a cell
In grief and shame, his damp face fell.

I knew, he’s never treated right.
Arguments each and every night.
He never shared, but clear in sight –
Each scars his heart had every fight.

I comfort him with words I say,
And pray’rs I have each waking day
Were prayers that come what may,
He had a ‘friend’ that’s here to stay.

I had to tell him but he bid goodbye
He said “We’ll fix this, I have to try”
And now I sat here, with a sigh.
Again, my chance had slipped me by.