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Quietude

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In solitude I may find myself
Far away from you, I may seek to be whole
Yet your presence I long
And your love I yearn to feel
This peace giveth me a chance
To rebuild the pieces broken
From chances forsaken

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On Never Looking Back

It has been a week since you left me hanging. As I walked back home with a heavy heart, I looked out onto the EDSA skyline and wondered to myself, “How is this going to be any better?”.

I wasn’t sure how it would, but something in me tells me to never worry.

Monday came and it was never the same again. No more of your morning messages – teasing me every now and then, or reminding me to take my lunch when I intended to skip the meal to work in the lab. I was no longer looking forward to 9 o’clock, so I can hear you sweet voice and beg to hear you sing a song for me.

How I wished Sunday never came. But now, it’s a Sunday once more. A week has passed, and no word from you.

But I have decided to move on from this. And as I look out at the gloomy horizon outside the window,even if it takes me more than my remaining courage to come out into the rain, I’m pretty certain there are better days ahead of me. I shall no longer look back in pain, but hold on to a great promise of tomorrow.

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This post was made as a response to today’s one – word prompt! If you feel like challenging yourself to create great stories from these prompts, check it out here :)

Bus Rides (and First Impressions)

It was past 9 in the evening and the mall was already closing. For the weirdest reason I find myself worrying that something wouldn’t turn out right when you arrive. No, don’t worry. This is something new, I tell myself as I rub my hands together, while waiting for you outside the mall.

At last, after a few minutes of waiting, you came. I tried my best to assess this situation, and not make a fool out of myself. You confirmed, our meet up spot was closed already, and you suggested we go elsewhere, just before you ride the bus to your weekday place.

I tried to do the small talk, but there you were fixated on something you didn’t want to disclose. After that flight of stairs and another stumble, I decided to just bring you back to the bus stop, as you constantly reassure me that nothing is wrong (and as if I would take that for real).

Why does it always have to be like this, when I go to such places? Always afraid of sending off someone close to me, and feeling they may never come back?

As I slowly succumb to the cold air, and the texts which came colder than your usual warm self, I begin to question myself.

And it made me realize how much I hate buses.

Anaphylaxis

A 24 year old Asian male presents to the ER with tachypnea, shortness of breath and generalized urticaria. Patient has no known maintenance medications to relieve the symptoms he is currently experiencing prior to coming to the ER. A physical examination revealed the following: HR 110bpm, RR 40 with signs of accessory muscle use.

Brief history of the patient reveals that he has been trying to patch things up with his partner of 8 months – after a whirlwind dating phase that lasted only roughly two weeks. Patient discloses that he was not aware that things would have gone out of hand, and symptoms of said event manifested abruptly one Saturday evening, after receiving one too many messages from the other person.

Accumulation of said allergen in the system may have caused this allergic reaction to the patient, causing him to lose motivation and feel irritability at the mere thought of this person.

An aerosol treatment was ordered and given with 0.5 cc albuterol with 3.0 cc normal saline in a small volume nebulizer for 10 minutes. Peak flows done before and after the treatment were 125/250 and ausculation revealed loud expiratory wheezing and better airflow.

Symptoms began to  resolve, and the patient was advised to resolve his current ordeal with his partner, and if they would accept their excessive neediness of one another, come into terms with this so as to prevent his reexposure to this allergen, as well as to refrain from whirlwind relationships because, you know what? Things that are taken too fast just to achieve something is just.. it’s just not right. It’s crap.

Truth Thursdays: Plan A

Upon graduating from high school, I decided to make use of one thing I never even thought would come in handy. Probably because I was mindful of dates and stuff like that, I found no use to it, but I was opening a new chapter in my life – a life of a college student, and I decided to make use of planners.

Four years ago, while everyone in my high school batch was busy with acceptance letters from universities that they have passed, and the upcoming Junior – Senior Promenade, I was slowly building up my dreams of being a student of the University of the Philippines – one of the premier universities in the country. I was to take up a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, and take up Medicine.

Important dates were already on my planner: when I was supposed to go to Laguna; where I was supposed to look for a dormitory near the University; what subjects I were going to take – I had them all written down, and foreseen what were going to happen.

I never got to UPLB, for my mother didn’t want me to. So I had to settle for my last choice, and take up another course (which I do love, nevertheless). I tried to make do of it, even if at times, my plans never worked out.

But now, I am constantly faced with so many changes, so many things that I want to do that I get conflicts in my head.

Oh, but there is so little time. Why can I not stick to what I really love, and be content?

Stressed

Just when I prayed to God that He gives me stuff to get busy with, this 2013, I think He gave me a little too much for what I asked for. And even before I concluded that my January would pass me by swiftly, I decided to think again. Oh wait, I didn’t have the time to think about it because I was too busy with so much work to do.

Three weeks since the start of the classes, and now we’re closing in on our Midterm exams, stress and sleepless nights begin to test our wits once more, as we went back to Adamson last January 3rd. Our professor on our first subject, never wasted a single minute, and started with the day with a recap of last year’s lessons on Aromatic compounds, and the EAS (Electrophilic Aromatic Substitution), and began discussing the topic for the next reactions on Benzene. Being our same professor for Analytical Chemistry, he practically did the same thing – explaining to us that he had to start with the lessons this early, since we don’t have much time, due to minor setbacks and the long weekends we had during the first two months of the semester.

Our laboratory subjects were as busy as ever. Since most of our topics for the Analytical lab subject were focused more on Titrimetry, we basically had to bear with the time-pressuring practical exams every Tuesday, and the formal reports we have to submit for that particular activity.

And, to be honest, I only get decent sleeps during the weekends, and my mom couldn’t blame me for it. Having to spend almost the whole day in school, whenever I get home, I barely eat dinner and I’m usually off to studying or, to my bed.

But, hope is never lost for this young Chemist. Definitely, everything will pay off in due time, so I just have to bear with these for awhile, and in no time, I’ll reap all these hardships, right?

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Motherly Bonding

Mom and I rarely get to take photos together, mainly because I’m always the one holding the camera (laughs). But whenever I get the chance to have the two of us in a picture, its definitely not a moment to waste.

And I really love it when the two of us are together. Most of my cousins get jealous with how mom and I get along well, but we can’t blame them – its always a fun time whenever I’m with my mom. Yeah, we have our arguments from time to time, but amidst the verbal disputes, its always the good times that meant a lot, and we always got together in the end :)

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