365 Days of Writing Prompts: The Normal

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My dad wanted to raise me as a ‘normal’ boy – one who plays Basketball, plays video games, and stuff like that. He tried his best in doing so. Tells me, that I should me “like every other kid” in the neighborhood.

But he was wrong. I knew back then, that I was ‘different’ – I saw things in a different light, in a perspective that most of my guy friends see me as a queer because of it. I liked reading, and poetry, but I did alot of sports. And I get teased most of the time when they see me writing my thoughts like a girl who keeps a diary under her bed.

I tried my best to go with what they see is ‘normal’ for a guy like me. Though looking back, despite all the things I’ve been through, as well as the lessons life has taught me, I believe I’m way more ‘normal’ as an adult now, than the ones who believed that being a bit different to the norm is not the way it should be.

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Stepping Forward

I had so many dreams and ambitions when I was a kid. There was a time that I wanted to be a jet pilot, a doctor, a professor, and I even dreamed of being a priest! (laughs) Now that I get to take a look back, I realized that I wanted to do so much, but had so much little time to even finish one.

So I decided to dream BIG, and accomplish it. Fortunately, that dream was to be a chemist. Funny, as I scanned my yearbooks since Preparatory School to Secondary School, that I had written that I wanted to be a chemist when I grow up. And, take note. I don’t even know what a chemist does at 6! But, I watched a lot of Dexter’s Laboratory, and I wanted to be some cool kid wearing a white gown, and doing awesome stuffs.

I’ve had rough times, getting to that dream. And I still have! I’m halfway through getting my Bachelor’s Degree in Chemistry, and after so many things, I’ve met great people along the way. People who had my back, those who never left my side, and those whom I’ve shared my laughs and my impossible dreams. And there are also those, not-so-good people who were around, lurking to discourage me and destroy my morale – those who never believed, those who spoke of me behind my back, those who limited my potentials.

I owe these people so much. And without these nagging people, I wouldn’t have so much motivation pumping me up to push my limits, and get here right now.

 

Another year in my life arrives. And as I grow older, and wiser in each year, I hope this brings me one more step closer to my dreams and be the person I want to be in the near future.

Just A Feeling

My heart skips a beat once more. Should it be something I will be happy about?

Not necessarily. Does it affect me that much? It does affect me, kinda?

I wanted to talk about it so much – ┬áthis familiar feeling that I never get to let out, drains so much of my positive energies, that I discontinue anything productive that I have in plan to do. And having such burdens, makes it so hard for me to focus. I’d act up these tendencies of mine to rack my brains, about what’s happening, and my chest tightens up and it becomes harder to breathe every single time.

Eyes become swollen, the air around you becomes thinner, and with every time you inhale, it becomes harder to take in. Each random thought becomes much more of a reality inside your head, and the worries get to you so much. All trust becomes doubtful, and the merest of gossip becomes the subject of paranoia.