For convincing myself has been harder lately,
Without you near,
Distant from me lately
I need reassurance
To get myself by.
For the shadows of the past linger on,
While you’re away
I miss your embrace
The confidence it gives
To risk another try.
May mga pagkakataon talagang iba kapag may nakakaramay ka sa ‘hirap at ginhawa’ – mga kaibigang hindi ka iiwanan kapag gipitan na, at alam mong nandiyan lang sila palagi para sayo. Hindi ba’t ang saya kapag ganun ang samahan? Ohana nga, sabi sa pelikulang ‘Lilo and Stitch’, “Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind.”
Siyempre, sa kahit anong samahanag matatag, hindi nawawala ang mga magkakaibigang todo effort din naman sa pagtupad sa ginagampanan nilang role bilang ‘friend’. At kung minsan nga, iniisip kong overqualified ako, sa mga iilang pagkakataon na ipinapakita ko ang suporta ko sa iba.
Pero hindi naiiwasan na dumating ang panahon na mapapaisip ka rin talaga kung nagiging ‘worth it’ pa ang mga ginagawa mo for the sake of friendship. For instance, no matter how late na si person/friend kapag may gagawin kayo, at alam mong may iba ka pa ding gagawin, iisipin mo pa rin na hintayin siyang dumating, bago ka tumuloy. Kung yung maiwanan nga lang siya sa likod kapag nagmamadali kayong maglakad, at maraming tao sa daan, tumitigil ka pa rin para hintayin siya, hindi ba?
Siguro nga, kaya naman ganun na lang ang naging ideyalismo ng nanay ko pagdating sa ganitong bagay – ang maging ‘single bodied’ ka, nang hindi mo kakailanganin na umasa sa iba, sa mga bagay na ikaw lang mag-isa pero kayang kayang mo naman. Hindi man ito dahilan dahil sa gusto mong mapag-isa at wala kang tiwala sa mga tao sa paligid mo, ngunit isa na rin itong paraan upang maiwasan mong sumama ang loob mo sa ibang tao dahil hindi nila nagawa ang mga bagay na ikaw, nagagawa mo sa kanila.
Ikaw ba, soloista ka rin?
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It was a rainy Tuesday, today. Somehow, He heard someone’s prayers of cooling down Manila earlier. I barely had sleep today, since it took me awhile to finish my reviews on Sociology and Anthropology. It was a rather tough exam, but my love for the Social Sciences made up for it. It was 8:00 A.M, when I texted you, if wanted to meet up for breakfast. You happily agreed. Before I left, I found out that the fast checking of papers revealed how my all nighter was a success. It made me more ecstatic to meet you :) Days before that special day, amidst the stresses of school, we catch up on one another.
But there were a few glitches, when you called me. You were going to be away for a two nights, and it took you awhile to pack up your stuff. You ask me if it was okay with you, running a little late than scheduled, as I tell you ‘Its okay. Madalas naman ako nalalate kapag nagkikita tayo.’ And, I sat down, wrote a few pages while waiting you come.
You came through the door, with a bag on your shoulders, and a plastic bag with your clothes. I gave you your favorite cinnamon roll :) And we ate, and chat a little. I was thinking a lot, and you did too. The stresses of this last two weeks of school, and your defense is getting on to you. I can’t do anything but be a moral supporter, nothing more.
How I can’t wait for Summer! I can’t wait to see you smiling again, without so much worries. Without the sleepless nights, even for two months.. like how I can hold your hand, and you not being worried been seen me holding it. How I can finally be that person I have hope to be for you.
But all those would have to wait for now. For a true love always wait. :)
TIDBITS 