Truth Thursdays | I See You

Dear You,

For the past few months, I have longed to tell you what I feel.

It was something which I let sink in, before finally deciding to admit it once and for all – how the late nights with you were something I looked forward to; (no matter how random the topics were, as long as it was with you, it mattered not to me at all) how I instinctively joke that I missed talking to you whenever I’m not online; that I would try to keep my eyes open early in the morning just to stay awake when we talk (which fails alot, since I fall asleep, still); how I keep smiling when I look at your picture in my phone; how I have always tried to set the perfect date to ask you out.

But as John Lennon had said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”, I was busy making too many plans. And life moved on. You moved on.

Now, here I am at the sidelines hearing your stories, stuck in the ‘zone’.I laugh when you tell me your stories, but I cringe inside and brings me in an emotional turmoil which is unnecessary and illogical. I wanted you to stop – but I knew it was something important to you. How can I be so blind?: You were into someone else, and I was merely someone you cherished in a different way.

And this time, I thought I’ve know you better than someone you just went out on a date with. In the headlines of this torn drama of mine, in a pedestal where I placed you, so I can keep you, my friend. I marvel at the view. I smile in your presence.

But in the end, I was only looking at a puddle.

10442926_10203396229460744_6520354397563849612_n

____________________________________________________________________________

Written for Truth Thursdays. This blog exists to connect people through writing. To initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. Wanna know more about this awesome thing I just participated in, read it here. :)

Advertisements

Truth Thursdays: Plan A

Upon graduating from high school, I decided to make use of one thing I never even thought would come in handy. Probably because I was mindful of dates and stuff like that, I found no use to it, but I was opening a new chapter in my life – a life of a college student, and I decided to make use of planners.

Four years ago, while everyone in my high school batch was busy with acceptance letters from universities that they have passed, and the upcoming Junior – Senior Promenade, I was slowly building up my dreams of being a student of the University of the Philippines – one of the premier universities in the country. I was to take up a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, and take up Medicine.

Important dates were already on my planner: when I was supposed to go to Laguna; where I was supposed to look for a dormitory near the University; what subjects I were going to take – I had them all written down, and foreseen what were going to happen.

I never got to UPLB, for my mother didn’t want me to. So I had to settle for my last choice, and take up another course (which I do love, nevertheless). I tried to make do of it, even if at times, my plans never worked out.

But now, I am constantly faced with so many changes, so many things that I want to do that I get conflicts in my head.

Oh, but there is so little time. Why can I not stick to what I really love, and be content?