It was nothing more than a fiction inside my head – a random thought, a suppressed longing, and a hopeful transmission that it was more than a dream. I saw you again there – smiling and waving at me. We were friends again just like back in our Junior year. But when I woke up…
How long has it been? I couldn’t make sense of it at the moment. Or maybe because I’ve kept it to myself every now and then. I would tell my friends that I’m way past getting over it all, but here I am still: staring at my laptop and pouring out whatever residual emotions I still have for you, and for what I thought was ours to share.
‘Another Monday’, I tell myself as I glance through the calendar with bits of paper still hanging from its rather messy rip of March. I still have two weeks to spend, before going back to school. Five years, and still struggling over my second course, I rekindle how long its been since we last had a decent conversation.
Pharmacy was not my intended degree – I was really into Chemistry in general, but fate brought me elsewhere. After spending almost four years into my previous program I settled with the best choice going forward, and here I am now. How has it been for you, I wonder? I remember you telling me I should pursue Medicine after my undergraduate studies, as it was a dream you never could fulfill.
And here I am now, amidst the length of years I have ‘wasted’ and earned for getting a degree, I still consider pushing myself further with planning to take up Medicine in a good school here in Manila, or if not, in Baguio so I can seclude myself from everyone else.
With a matter-of-fact tone in my head, I set this aside and go back to what I initially intended to unravel (my apologies for being such a scatterbrain in the morning). I tell myself probably like my career choice, it would be best that I just moved forward with life, and accept things as they are. It probably wouldn’t be any better if I let myself fall behind everyone else, and spiral back down to depression. But for now, I’d rather escape to you and see you again in my sleep.
How sweet it is to dream of great things and stay among them, isn’t it?